Cultural View with Eric O' Burden

Good morning, good evening, good night, good whatever you're in because everything is relative, and everything is whatever you want to! My name is Eric O' Burden, art professor, and you're in "Cultural View", a great section of this website about what's happening at this real time moment in modern art! That's amazing, isn't it?

So, let's see some incredible works of new artists in the UK AT THIS MOMENT:

- Line, Robert Scarrier, paint in Paint; 12th June 2020

There is lot of colors in this picture, isn't it? It's really expressive and I think it was really dull to an artist to do such an incredible painting, I estimate he made it in, approximately, 7,4 years! It's the new Leonardo DaVinci that uses IPhone and  eat McDonalds.

- Satan is a warm gun, Daniel Hanson; 39th March 2020.

Oh! That's a masterpiece! A drawing of a hand with red fingers! I didn't get the title, I think the artist misunderstood his own work, I'm the art professor, my interpretation is the only correct and is always correct, obviously. So... a great artist, if he works really hard, someday, he will become a great me.

- This is a piece of shit, Alex Richard; 90th January 2020.

Oh! Modern art using a high level language! That's so magnificent! Magnificent! Beautiful! Oh my goodness! Never saw such talent since Picasso's era! About the work, you can see the artist really had a dull day making it, it looks like he put a text tool on Paint, wrote it and said it was an artistic work but it doesn't. It really took time and technique to be made! Congrats!

Well, for this week it's all. I hope you really reflected about your life and destiny with all these incredible works! Bye bye, mr. Pie!

Mr. Brown and his spouse

And now it's time for another magnificent gag of Spilled Pie's Incredible Site...

There was this guy called Mr. Brown. One day, he and his spouse were in bed, and then his spouse said: "Oh, Johnny, that was marvelous!" but then, Brown realizes and say: "Who is this Johnny character? Are you betraying me?". She realizes what she have said and then tries to disguise, "Oh no, it's Brown! It's so easy to confuse Johnny with Brown!". Brown looks at her with an angry face and say: "You're right! It's a bit similar!", and then he turns to cuddle his spouse's head again. 

To finish the gag, a bit of poetry: 

And again, everything was alright.

She was with a smile on her face

He was with his horns on the sky.

THE END :)

The Pandemic Times!

Spilled Tea proudly presents its newest section: The Pandemic Times, your journal during the pandemic times.

REPORTER: We are here in Concratemade Street to interview the population to make them questions exclusively about Coronavirus and the pandemic times we're living these days. We need to know popular opinions, so let's see the results:

QUESTION: Excuse me, madamn. What do you think about being alive in pandemic times? 

LADY: Oh! It's wonderful to be alive today, I love to wear this shitty mask that pricks my nose every moment.

OLD GENTLEMAN: Are we living in a pandemy?

TEENAGER TEXTING ON THE PHONE: Are we still alive?

HOMELESS: I knew it! I knew it! It is the aliens! Aliens are attacking us! Aliens!

QUESTION: If you were a peanut butter, what would you do?

LADY: I would be creamy. More than I am actually.

OLD GENTLEMAN: I would be more happy because my family don't come to visit me no more, it didn't make any sense with your question I just wanted to vent it with someone :(

TEENAGER TEXTING ON THE PHONE: What the heck this question is about? Aren't we supposed to talk about the virus?

HOMELESS: Aliens!

QUESTION: To finish it all, what kind of music are you into?

LADY: I like R&B music, but I like Rock music too.

OLD GENTLEMAN: Oh the good ol' times! I like a lot of Bee Gees, Chic, Pet Shop Boys and the other heavy metal bands.

TEENAGER TEXTING ON THE PHONE: That's ridiculous. 

HOMELESS: Aliens! Aliens! Aliens! Adrian! Adrian!

And this was the first and last edition of The Pandemic Times, your safe and only source of infomation during Coronavirus big party!

How do hipsters live? What do they eat? Are they humans? Do they have legs? I don't know, man.

Hipsters: that's how they call themselves. I would call them vagrants but, no, they're hipsters. For the ones who never heard about "Hipsters", please close this window and shout "God bless", you don't really want to know about them, trust on me. But, they're a bunch of people who think they're cool and fight against "old society" just because they listen to boring ukeleles songs with useless depressive lyrics, use Vans' shoes and have a neutral gender. I defined all this social movement in some few lines. 

Anyway, they're really modern, you know? I want to be just like them when I grow up. They have badly shaved beard (as every homeless or unemployeed) and revolutionize EVERY DAY by breaking with the society that requires them to take a shower once a week (at least).

FLASH NEWS! Brazilian president, Jair Messias Bolossauro, decided to lick a toilet and contracted Coronavirus.

The Brazilian president, the tapir Jair Messias Tiranossaurus Rex decided, this Wednesday, June 6th 2020, to lick a toilet in a public restroom and, surprisely, contracted a brand new Coronavirus to his fetid body. But, what nobody expected to happen, happened! He didn't die instantly. 

Coronavirus got into Jair's body and saw how much of shit there was inside and decided to get out of that unhealthy place. We have an EXCLUSIVE interview with the virus:


REPORTER: How much of shit there was in Bolossauro's body?

CV: Man, I swear there was as much shit as a cesspool. Specially in his mouth's part. 


REPORTER: You have been inside chinese's body, american's body, and now brazilian's body... What is the best or the worst? 


CV: Well... chinese's body isn't that dirt. Obviously they eat a lot of shit but, isn't that insalubrious. Americans ones... there are just a lot of hamburgers there, and a lot of shit too. But, brazilians ones... are quite different.


REPORTER: Why?


CV: Because, at least, chinese and american people eat something. Brazilians are just starving, cause' they're poor. Got it? I'm thinking about being a stand-up comedian, you know? I'm the biggest joke humanity has ever seen.


REPORTER: What?


CV: I made a lot of idiots laugh about my existence, because they didn't believe on me. Now they're crying on a hospital bed... Thinking in a certain way, yeah... I'm not that good at comedy...

Jair Salnorabo's mouth didn't comment anything about the case until the present moment.